Keri Russell, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, the kid from the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Robin Williams, and Terrence “Babyface” Howard.
Long story short: You’re a poor musician. You have drunken premarital sex with another poor musician. You have a baby and leave it in a trashcan. Robin Williams dressed as gay Bono takes the baby under his wing. He becomes a successful street performer. Now you want the baby back. Isn’t this the story of half the population of New York, excluding the successful part?