Brendan Fraser, Josh Hutcherson, Anita Briem. An adventure where a scientist, his nephew and their guide discover journey to the center of the earth.
Remember in high school science class when your teacher told you that the center of the earth was hot magma or something? I don’t know, I really wasn’t paying attention. But it’s hot something. Well, this film presupposes that the center of the earth is actually filled with fairies and giant venus flytraps that ooze Echo Cooler. It would be cool to see another 3D movie though, but it won’t be cool to watch Brendan Fraser try his luck at a today’s time version of ‘The Mummy.’
Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Spencer Breslin. An M. Night Shyamalan thriller where people start dieing randomly.
So Mark Wahlberg plays a high school teacher that cares about his students and the poison that’s killing off humanity. No one is going to buy that Mark Wahlberg cares about anybody, unless his pecs or a gang of supermodels start dieing off too. Also, no one is going to buy that Mark Wahlberg plays a teacher. I was still wondering if he knew how to read. Everyone hedge your bets on the twist M. Night Shyamalan comes up with this go around. My guess is that there’s a narcolepsy convention in town and everyone is just sleeping. To save the day, Mark Wahlberg ties two pot tops in between his legs and puts a bass drum around his waste whilst singing ragtime tunes. Just in the knick of time too, before they sleep… forever.
Amber Tamblyn, America Ferrera, Alexis Bledel, Blake Lively. The sequel to the best girlfriend movie.
I didn’t see the first one, since I’m not gay or a girl. As far as I know, I’m still not gay or a girl, so I’ll leave this for you to rent when you’re trying to apologize to your girlfriend for oogling the waitress at Denny’s.
Rob Schneider, David Carradine. A comedy where a rich man hires a martial arts expert to teach him fighting techniques before he is sentenced to prison for fraud.
Hey look everyone, it’s Rob Schneider’s directorial debut! And it’s just like every other movie he’s in! Which means that you kind of like the guy but you feel bad about thinking his career is a joke!
The updated trailer for the animated comedy with Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman, Jackie Chan, and others. The teaser trailer can be seen here.
It would have been funnier if this was live action and Jack Black dressed in a panda suit and jumped around doing his standard “I’m fat and loud” routine. Instead it’s just a drawing of a panda doing an “I’m fat and loud” routine with Jack Black’s voice.
The red band trailer for the Simon Baker, Winona Ryder, Leslie Bibb, Patton Oswalt comedy. A guy finds a list of everyone he’s had sex with and everyone he will ever have sex with. First trailer here.
For a movie with the word Sex in the title and a Winona Ryder nude scene, this is a really bland Red Band trailer. There’s no nudity, or even cussing for that manner. It makes one wonder if this is some elaborate hoax for a PG rated arguable comedy.
The red band trailer for the stoner comedy by Judd Apatow’s people. Seth Rogen, James Franco, Gary Cole. A preview clip can be seen here.
God, I hate stoner comedies. It’s like a 9 year old with a Writer’s Guild card had a free Friday to write 140 pages of wiener jokes. Granted, this is going to kill at the box office, or it will ruin Seth Rogen’s career. James Franco can get by on his looks and make Annapolis 2.
The first trailer for the much anticipated fourth installment of the action series. Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett.
At first I wasn’t too thrilled about seeing this movie. This trailer has since changed my mind.
Joey McIntyre, Eliza Dushku, Mike O’Malley, Will Arnett. A Boston playwright stages a production in the back of an Irish pub.
On the face of it, everything about this movie looks moronic. Joey McIntyre, of New Kids on the Block fame, is in it. He’s also playing way too melodramatic for my tastes. So is Mike O’Malley, the guy from GUTS and ‘Yes, Dear.’ Eliza Dushku is in it, so you know it has to be crap. And Will Arnett has been cursed ever since ‘Arrested Development’s’ untimely demise. But it doesn’t look terrible. You have to give McIntyre the benefit of the doubt since Donnie Wahlberg has proven his detractors wrong, even though he isn’t really in good movies. It also looks reminiscent to the actual life of that guy that directed ‘Boondock Saints’ which by the documentary ‘Overnight’ is really interesting. I’m on the fence, but my instincts are not and they say stay away.
A war drama based in Vietnam where a US combat unit seaches for the Viet Cong in tunnels under Vietnam. Directed by Uwe Boll.
If anyone is familiar with Uwe Boll, then you’ll know that he doesn’t direct “normal” movies. All the comic geeks hate him, but they still go to see his movies which in turn gives him the success to continue making movies. Good job comic geeks. Well this looks like a “normal” movie in the sense that it’s not totally mind numbingly stupid. Good job Uwe Boll. Maybe those death threats will subside yet.