Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah, Rob Corddry. Two people down on their luck go to Vegas and get married one drunken night. They win a jackpot and have to stay married for 6 months or they’ll lose the money. A comedy romance.
You’ve heard the story a million times. Two people get drunk in Las Vegas. They fall in drunk love. They get married. Then they divorce the next day. But what if they stay together? After they win 3 million dollars. Because their judge forces them to. Since he has that jurisdiction. What would happen? Hilarity would ensue of course. And by hilarity I mean varying forms of painfully unfunny physical gags with Cameron Diaz’s perky disposition and Ashton Kutcher’s general lack of anything talented.
The teaser trailer for the hyped Star Trek prequel.
In the vein of ‘Batman Begins,’ here comes the leaked prequel for the new Star Trek. You can watch the Starship Enterprise get built, and see J.J. Abrams ruin the whole thing with his over-the-top production value.
Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber, Jamie Bell. Three Jewish brothers escape from Nazi-occupied Poland and set up camp in the forest with help from Russians.
Apparently Hitler movies are the in thing this year, with this and that Tom Cruise piece of crap coming out. ‘Defiance’ is reminiscent of the Kevin Costner ‘Robin Hood,’ where they build some wooden village on the outskirts of town. ‘Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves’ had flaming bows and arrows though, so I doubt that ‘Defiance’ will even compare. Flaming bullets on 1940’s guns would be cool though.
Trailers: CJ7*No ‘A Trailer Park Picks’ this week because all these movies look stupid.
A father gives his son an alien as a present and sci-fi comedy ensues. From the guy that directed Kung Fu Hustle. The first trailer is here.
The alien in this movie is that Flubber goo with legs and the face of one of those flower things that you blow on and all the fuzzies fly everywhere. Granted, it’s cute, but not as cool as a centaur.
Rhona Mitra, Bob Hoskins, Malcolm McDowell. A sci-fi thriller where people try to save the world from a virus.
This is a precursor to what’s going to happen if the Democrats get elected to office. Just kidding. Obama is going to ban crap like this.
A horror movie about people who go camping in the woods looking for mushrooms.
You’d think a movie called ‘Shrooms’ would be some trippy psychedelic comedy about stoner friends who drive around in a car making penis jokes, aka any Seth Rogen vehicle. But you’d be wrong. There’s a killer in those woods, and he’s looking for hippies. I for one would like to give him a medal and total jurisdiction over all the land. He could really become a modern day Lone Ranger.
Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sigourney Weaver, Dax Shepard, Maura Tierney. A comedy about a business woman who hires a surrogate to have her baby.
If you’ve ever seen ‘Knocked Up’ and wondered what it would be like without that endearing quality to it, or if you’re a fan of ‘30 Rock’ and wonder what would happen if Alec Baldwin or Tracy Morgan weren’t there to make it funny, then this is the movie for you.
A romantic drama where a boy has a talent for spying on people and trying to expose his mother’s death. Jamie Bell, Claire Forlani.
This looks like a movie Michael Gondry would make or if anybody saw ‘The Squid and the Whale,’ that too. Since nobody sees movies like that, except pretentious literate people, enjoy it’s brief time in theaters and utter fall into infamy. That being said, Claire Forlani is probably the hottest not A-list person in Hollywood. She could make opening cans of peaches look hot. If we got married, that’s what she would be doing the majority of her time. Opening cans of peaches for me and subsequently cooking them in pies.
The latest trailer for the bank robbery story starring Jason Statham and Saffron Burrows. First one here.
I guess films these days have quit even trying to distinguish themselves from similar movies made in the past. This looks like ‘Ocean’s 11-13″ meets ‘The Italian Job.’ It’s so much like them in fact, that it sounds like it directly steals from the Ocean’s franchise soundtrack. Maybe the CD they used just said “bank movie music.” Also, Jason Statham is in this. And he was in The Italian Job. I’m giving him a hard time though, because he apparently has an acting range similar to Corky from ‘Life Goes On.’