The animated film based on the popular children’s series.
The cool thing about the Veggie Tales is that they follow in the tradition of Christian entertainment and its below-par standards.
An actual trailer for the Tim Roth, Francis Ford Coppola thriller, as opposed to this.
Apparently this movie revolves around an elderly Nazi who gets struck by lightning and becomes young again and nobody cares. My grandmother was struck my lighting once. She hates Jews too. She’s old. So I don’t think this is based on a true story. Unless she’s lying about being my grandmother and she’s really like 400 years old. She’s not lying about hating Jews though.
A new trailer for the next installment in the Sylvester Stallone series. The first trailer can be seen here.
If I was a General in the military, I’d want all my soldiers to be like Rambo. I’d have a militia of vigilantes aimlessly killing anything that was the color of the caramels in my candy dish. What’s a prisoner? You can’t kill a prisoner with that ninja neck twisty thing in the shadows. You have to feed them, and take them to go poop, and play cards with them, and listen to them play the harmonica. That’s what Barney did for Otis on the Andy Griffith Show. They should have ninja neck twistyed him a long time ago.
Jack Black and Mos Def star as movie geeks who remake movies they accidentally erase. The actual trailer can be seen here. But the clip below is the trailer they made for their own Ghostbusters movie.
The true story of Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby, who suffered a stroke and only his left eye wasn’t left paralyzed.
A note to people who dream of becoming cripple: when you can walk- you will get laid, you will drive fast cars, eat good food, and your children love you. But if you go brain dead, your wife will start cheating on you with Hamlet characters, your son will pick up some faggy dance, people will start shaving your grandfather even though he likes his beard, and then they will put you out on a wooden platform over the ocean to die. I once had an appendicitis and when I woke up from surgery my sister was impregnated by the Mexican nurse who put in my catheter. He had the hands of a French sculptor. Anyway, little Margarite will be 6 next month, and I can’t wait to give her the used push lawnmower I got her for her birthday.
Bob Hoskins, Boromir from Lord of the Rings and others in some shoot’em up movie.
In 1988, Bob Hoskins was awesome. He battled Judge Doom and burned up evil toons, and got laid at every comic book convention there was. Now he’s acting in another gun fighting British action movie and can’t even get blown by the fat pizza delivery girl who brings him an extra large cheese and avocado pizza every Tuesday night. And I’ve seen that girl, she looks like Baby Herman with a botched boob job.
A comedy drama starring Christopher Plummer and the kid from Sky High, where an old drunk who used to work in the film business makes friends with a movie geek.
I’d say this is a good portrayal of people who work on film sets. Barring the director, producers, and stars they work their whole lives for crappy pay. Their wives divorce them because they’re gone all the time and the only excuse they have is that Jessica Simpson wouldn’t leave her trailer because she was crying because she is an idiot. Half the time they just dick around and eat from craft services so they get fat. They get home late and realize that their lives are of no immediate use to society so they drink themselves to sleep, and the only thing that keeps them from jumping off a bridge is the fact that Harrison Ford once told them to get off his shoelace and people love to hear that story in line at the post office or at the idiot convention. Then they get old and realize that they have no family, no health insurance, no savings, and only one functioning liver, but it’s all worth it in the end when you get to tell some pathetic bullied kid with no friends that you once took Orson Welles’ pants to get dry cleaned.
Some sci-fi comedy by the guy that directed Kung Fu Hustle.
This is pretty much an asian rip-off of Batteries Not Included except for the fact that Batteries Not Included was awesome and this is not and Jessica Tandy is not in this because she died like 13 years ago. Does anybody remember Cocoon? I always get that mixed up with Batteries Not Included for some reason. Asian people need to rip that off and breed their elders into some cabbage or boxed watermelons or whatever it is they eat that makes them so petite and easy to bully when I was in high school. Ah high school, when I was king and didn’t work at an auto parts store.
Some comedy-drama with some people in it.
So some successful business guy finds out that he has a son and it reconnects him to his family. I assume it’s called ‘Dirty Laundry’ because they’re two bachelors who don’t wash their clothes because there is no mother figure in the house? Or they don’t have a washing machine and it’s too inconvenient to drive down the street and go to the Quick-E-Wash? Or the guy is embarrassed about his son because he had a one night stand with a prostitute and doesn’t want to tell his family so he just says he’s keeping him for a friend till he gets out of rehab?