Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah, Katie Holmes, Tad Danson, a crime comedy.
I had a stupid joke about people being “Mad” about spending their “Money” to go see this or the film company being “Mad” about not making any “Money” off it, but there are bigger issues here. This is the film Katie Holmes decided to do instead of reprising her role in the next Batman installment. Good work Katie. You really picked a winner.
Halloween is vastly approaching, and we here at A Trailer Park want to wish everyone many happy returns. Well not everyone. The people who still think it’s witty to dress as Lil’ John and say “what?” or “okay!” every 13 seconds can probably get bitten by a cat with rabies. Otherwise, enjoy the first two minutes of Ernest Scared Stupid since we can’t find the actual trailer.
Paris Hilton, Paul Sorvino, Alexa Vega, a horror musical.
This film is the perfect example of why children need strong father figures in their lives.
Bella
(A Trailer Park Pick)
Diane Lane, Tom Hanks’ son, a thriller.
Diane Lane can’t play a computer nerd. She doesn’t sweat Cheeto powder or fear the sun will inflame her acne scars.
Sylvester Stallone, the fourth installment in the action series. No Richard Crenna.
Sylvester Stallone takes styling cues from Solid Snake of Metal Gear fame and a bottle of steroids from Jose Canseco, then knifes a bunch of people just doing their jobs.
Tobin Bell, the 4th in the horror series.
Man, how awesome was the first Saw? And how great did you feel when you heard the second one was already in production? And how bad was your heart crushed when the franchise made subsequent turds and still continues to do so?
The life of Spanish-Americans in New York City.
If we are to believe this movie is based on actual events, then apparently this is a story of a Mexican soccer player who moves to America and gets his waitress girlfriend pregnant. There are three guys with that story outside digging my pool right now.
From director Ridley Scott, Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe, a crime drama.
After the success of The Departed, there seems to be a large wave of crime films where no distinct line between good and bad exists. Since The Departed was really awesome, I tend to believe that American Gangster shall pale in comparison, thus it will be a piece of crap.
Regina King, Mekhi Phifer, Delroy Lindo, Chris Brown, a Christmas movie.
I’m going to start a rumor that executives are currently in talks for the sequels entitled Next Christmas and Last Christmas and whatever the Friday franchise manages to come up with.