Cate Blanchett, Clive Owen, Geoffrey Rush, a historical something or other.
Who knew that Queen Elizabeth suffered from iron deficiency and that her wig was made of shag carpet from the 1960’s? Was Bozo not free to play this role? Oh, he’s dead. Is Carrot Top dead yet?
Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman, a Rob Reiner comedy.
I think the things on the actual Jack Nicholson’s “bucket list” are spending a quiet night at home sipping tea, not having sex with an anonymous stripper, eating a tuna fish sandwich, and collecting Confederate War memorabilia.
The much hyped comedy starring Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Rainn Wilson, and some girl.
With Michael Cera and Jason Bateman back together again, this has all the rumblings of a great thing that nobody watches.
Michael Douglas, Evan Rachel Wood, comedy.
To prepare for his role of a crazy old person, Michael Douglas just acted like his dad Kirk. To prepare for her role of being around a crazy old person, Evan Rachel Wood began dating Marilyn Manson.
Naomi Watts, Tim Roth, the dude that’s in all those movies that you never know the name of, a thriller.
You have to give it up to Michael Pitt, or “the blond headed young faced guy who’s been in 8,000 quirky movies but nobody knows his name.” I’m sure he’s been offered some blockbuster roles, but he has an image to keep up. An image of churning out low budget pieces of crap.
Director Ben Affleck, brother Casey Affleck, Morgan Freeman, Ed Harris, Michelle Monaghan, a thriller.
Ben Affleck finally figured out that being in a movie really hurts the chances of anyone watching it. So he took a stab at directing. This isn’t his directorial debut though. His first film in the chair was “I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney.” Google it.
Spanish heist movie.
Why do you need an English speaking narrator when: A. this movie is in Spanish and B. he’s just rereading the text on screen?
A Kenneth Branagh film, Jude Law, Michael Caine, thriller.
Either the crew was just lazy or their whole idea was to have a film where Jude Law and Michael Caine talk to each other on the same set the whole time. If I knew making a movie was that easy, I’d just film myself talking to my grandmother for an hour and a half.
Tyler Perry, Janet Jackson, the guy that played Spawn, a romantic comedy.
All Tyler Perry movies have two things in common: -There’s no white people in them and the acting quality borders on a soap opera. Also, be sure to pick up your Tyler Perry’s fruit snacks and Tyler Perry’s buzz saws at your local Wal-mart coming next fall.
Director Sean Penn, Emile Hirsch, Vince Vaughn, William Hurt, Catherine Keener, adventure.
This is the inspirational story of a disenfranchised youth who hikes to Alaska to really “live.” If living involves wrestling yaks and blowing Vince Vaughn, you can count me out. I don’t have to go all the way to Alaska to blow people that look like Vince Vaughn.