August 31, 2007

Uncategorized: December Boys

Harry Potter, Drama.
*video removed*
In this film starring Harry Potter, instead of training to be a wizard, he’s training to be a fairy. Like a gay fairy. Not a fairy fairy. That’d be cool though.

Trailers: I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With

Jeff Garlin, Sarah Silverman, Bonnie Hunt, Amy Sedaris, Richard Kind, Comedy.

I want someone to eat cheese with too. Only because my wife is lactose intolerant and it smells like a dank sewer down there when we go out for gelato.

August 30, 2007

Trailers: August Rush

Keri Russell, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, the kid from the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Robin Williams, and Terrence “Babyface” Howard.

Long story short: You’re a poor musician. You have drunken premarital sex with another poor musician. You have a baby and leave it in a trashcan. Robin Williams dressed as gay Bono takes the baby under his wing. He becomes a successful street performer. Now you want the baby back. Isn’t this the story of half the population of New York, excluding the successful part?


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Trailers: Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium

Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman, Jason Bateman, in a Fantasy.

Because of Natalie Portman’s short hair, she looks like a 12 year old boy in this. The hottest 12 year old boy ever. Besides that kid Joel down the street. Go play slip-n-slide Joel. Go play slip-n-slide.

Uncategorized: Descent

Rosario Dawson thriller.
*trailer removed*
They say when a bunch of women are in the same room together they start having the same menstrual cycle. Well this movie proves that if they go in a cave together, monsters climb out of their vaginas and eat them.

August 29, 2007

Trailers: Drillbit Taylor

Owen Wilson, Leslie Mann Comedy.

Barring the Red Herring in the room of recent events concerning Owen Wilson (Google it if you want), it’s starting to become blatantly clearer by each movie made that “the guys that brought you Knocked Up and Superbad” make the same exact movie every time with only one extenuating circumstance thrown in. It is good though to know that there is a place for struggling short fat curly haired white kid actors to find jobs though.

Trailers: The Comebacks

David Koechner and the not fat or gay Lawrence brother in a sports spoof.

Who doesn’t love comedy satire movies? The answer to that question is not idiots.

Trailers: No Country For Old Men

Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson Thriller.

Can the brother from Everybody Loves Raymond sue this guy for stealing his face?

August 28, 2007

Trailers: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell Western

And the Oscar for longest, most pointless movie title goes to… Couldn’t they just have shortened it to maybe The Ass of JJ by the Cow? Maybe people would think the guy from Good Times is in it, and a cow.

Trailers: Hannah Takes The Stairs

Some actors. IFC.

Watching this girl try to form a sentence is enough to make you feel good about hitting your girlfriend.



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